If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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