Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
