You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
