Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
