U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
