he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The air was thick with penises
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
