Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
