wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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