then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
