he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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