Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize