I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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