nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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