The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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