Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
