You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
