is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
