he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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