do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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