I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...