I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize