Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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