I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It all started with a game of naked twister.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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