Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm just crazy horny about you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
