Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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