if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
