also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
