Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize