OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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