Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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