Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
