thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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