I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
