Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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