oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
