wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
