how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize