We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
pray to the hookup gods
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
