I'm going to jail i love you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize