he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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