how can u be prego again
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
