then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
