Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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  (313): Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board? http://tfl.nu/cf1u
  Replies (19) Good night (836) Bad night (5906)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.

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  (303): I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate. http://tfl.nu/qrjm
  Replies (13) Good night (4211) Bad night (677)
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  (858): View more from California

  It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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  (858): It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain. http://tfl.nu/y8ei
  Replies (16) Good night (7003) Bad night (995)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...

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  (541): She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets... http://tfl.nu/jeys
  Replies (28) Good night (6837) Bad night (1808)
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  (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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  (+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o
  Replies (7) Good night (2818) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  can you blow me for old times sake

  (951): View more from California

  only for old times sake

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  (760): can you blow me for old times sake (951): only for old times sake http://tfl.nu/ab6d
  Replies (9) Good night (3845) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.

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  (815): I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win. http://tfl.nu/e10p
  Replies (46) Good night (1785) Bad night (3036)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.

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  (509): I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition. http://tfl.nu/x5ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1426) Bad night (511)
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  (530): View more from California

  Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.

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  (530): Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking. http://tfl.nu/uxvx
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place

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  (307): He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place http://tfl.nu/50j6
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really

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  (231): You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really http://tfl.nu/kw3p
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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  (813): Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner http://tfl.nu/zbhu
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

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  (561): Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her. http://tfl.nu/tvor
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule

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  (419): you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule http://tfl.nu/gkls
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

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  (407): She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3wwx
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (235)

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