Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED