Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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