you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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