seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".