Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK