My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.