That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
