just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
