why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
