So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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