You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
