Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
