You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
