Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
