Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
no you cant smoke seaweed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
