he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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