so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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