dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
