I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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