dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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