Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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