i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
