Hey man sorry I got all grabby
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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